Ah, Halloween, 1998. The porches are lined with pumpkins, the sidewalks are bustling with trick-or-treaters, the trees are full of toilet paper. It was a nice night in suburbia USA.
But it wasn't on the streets that Roman made his move. No, he'd gotten this Halloween thing down pretty good in his two years of demoning and he knew there was one place to go if you wanted to make deals with stupid people.
The Catchacun High School parking lot stood empty as Roman skulked along the back of the library. He'd seen the teenagers go in and he knew without a shadow of a doubt they were going to do some seance bullshit in there. Time to pretend to be a ghost!
Roman himself was not without festivities. He felt sort of cool having a double disguise--a generic magician complete with cape, top hat, and curly 'stache on top of his human skin. He twirled his mustache as he leaned an ear against the double doors. The demon could hear them murmuring deep inside.
Trans-dimensional travel is one of those things that just doesn't ever seem to get any easier. First being chucked through shadow-tentacle-trauma central and having his arm and leg ripped off again, then waking up in a goddamn grave and being infected with some stupid monster disease, and now...this.
Hurtling toward the ground at a ludicrous speed, Edward is doing everything he can think of to slow his decent. Spreading and flapping his wings isn't doing a whole lot, and it's hard to keep at an angle that the air resistance will do anything at all. He's tumbling and screaming and dear god the ground sure is getting closer very, very fast.
He comes crashing down smack into the pavement, actually bouncing once or twice before finally rolling to a halt several yards away from the small crater the first impact left. By some miracle he isn't dead, but he's pretty sure he broke something in that fall; everything hurts too much to figure out just what quite yet. Groaning, Ed feebly starts trying to move, lifting his face from the asphalt with a grimace.
"I am never taking a fucking deal from that asshole again." He's said that three times now, but fuck if he doesn't mean it this time! The hell with Ticky-Bang-Bang.
Roman gave such a jump that part of his human disguise faltered. His horns popped out from under his hat and he had to cram it back on and stop himself from crying out in alarm before they would disappear. He wheeled around, his cape fluttering dramatically, and stared at...
"Wo-hoaaaah!" Ignoring the very obvious signs of distress, Roman trotted right up to the fallen Elric, hopping over the indention he made without noticing it yet. "I didn't know there was a party on the roof! Sick c-costume, man!"
As rattled as he is right now, Edward's reaction to a sudden human in his presence isn't really the most graceful. His ears fly up in alarm and he tenses, pushing himself up to hands and knees and growling with fangs bared. He glares and tries to flare his wings, but the right one twitches half way up and doesn't extend fully--the forearm is clearly broken, and the left wing looks like a few of the fingers are dislocated as well.
Roman recoils instantly, still not quite getting what he's seeing. He lifts both hands in a calming gesture. Okay, wow, maybe this guy just lost a fight. His cool costume was kind of messed up too.
"Ookay, okay! Chill." His eyes darted back to the library before returning to Ed. A small war happened within him. He was obviously hurt. He could make a deal with him...or he could ask if he wanted to go to the emergency room. Decisions decisions...
The growling doesn't stop, and Ed crawls backwards a ways before slowly pushing himself up to his hooves, trying to make the motion look deliberate rather than because he aches all over. Behind him his tail lashes back and forth, and everything in his posture screams that the minotaur is ready to fight.
Which, to be fair what minotaur isn't ready to brawl at a moment's notice?
Roman's eyes grew larger as Ed stood and loomed with his fucked up wings and angry body language. The tail was what did it. Something went off in the back of the demon's brain that told him that this was not, in fact, a costume and he was very much in trouble.
But why wasn't this guy giving off the same powerful rifs that the other demon he'd met did? He quickly forced a smile behind his dumb fake mustache and tipped his hat slightly.
"Is this your t-t-territory? My bad! I'll just be...moving along!"
Oddly enough, it's that stammer that gets Ed to back off. Much as he was sometimes wont to indulge a bit too much in the monstrous side of his personality these days, it still never really sat well with him to scare the piss out of humans if they didn't mean any harm. The growl subsides, and the snarl fades into more of a pained grimace.
"No, I just...fuck!" Ed winces and pulls his wings closer to his body. Goddamn, but this is going to be annoying as hell to let heal... "Just. Just tell me where I am."
Okay now it was getting weird. He wasn't from hell. And he didn't know where he was...or what a normal high school looked like. The demon in disguise folded his arms and began to walk around Ed in a broad circle.
"Well, it's been here for generations. If you're not from hell, where'd you come from? I know weird stuff is supposed t-to happen on Halloween but...help me out here."
Ed watches Roman warily as he paces around him, turning to keep him in sight at all times. His leg twinges when he twists too far, but Ed doesn't think it's worse than a sprain there.
"What, do you want a list? I've been to four worlds now counting this one, I'm getting goddamn tired of keeping track!"
The last Well Meaning employee locked up for the night and made the long walk to their car. Roman had dropped his visible form to hide out inside the building. Once he was sure everything was clear, he made his way back to the employee entrance and unlocked it from the inside.
He reappeared and leaned out with a triumphant grin.
"Attention shoppers, our after hours special has just begun--prices so low it's practically stealing! Don't miss out!"
Edward had been hiding up on the roof of the building for the past few hours, curled up bored and chilly away from where anyone could spot him down on the ground. But he didn't need to see the entrances to hear when people came and left, and when Roman unlocks the door Ed hops up and flies around and down to him with a laugh.
Roman can't keep the mix of jealousy and wonder out of his eyes when Ed comes swooping down. Man, once he figured out how to make his wings big enough for that!!!
"Well come right on in, number one c-customer!"
He retreated inside and turned on a few of the lights as they worked their way to the actual store floor. The long wracks of clothes and shelves full of old dishes and probably broken electronics were spooky in the low light.
"It's about time I gave up on the flipflops anyway and found some boots."
He can't help preening a bit, seeing Roman's fairly obvious awe at his flight. But he follows the demon in, closing the door and rubbing his patchily-furred arms. Goddamn, he's gonna be glad to have some actually warm clothes to wear.
"I was wondering about that. You don't exactly have a nice pelt to keep yourself warm." Ed looks around curiously, frowning and poking at some of the appliances before turning his attention to the plethora of clothing. The low light doesn't bother him too much--he barely notices it, honestly. "Lessee, a coat, some pants and shirts...oh good, there's some bags, too."
"Yeah, I'm more...scales than fur, I guess." He flapped his own tiny wings before tucking them tightly against his back. His legs didn't even get that fluffy in winter. He was strictly a warm-weather monster.
He'd been to this particular Well Meaning before so he knew where the shoes were but he couldn't help lagging a little and stealing glances of Ed looking at all the appliances. Roman had a hard time wrapping his head around what it would be like to live in the world he tumbled out of.
Appliances, tools, various knick-knacks...everything catches Ed's attention for at least a moment. It's odd what things he is able to recognize among all the miscellaneous hand-me-downs, and the stuff he can't is just all the more interesting for it.
Ed had been poking through a rack of denim pants when Roman spoke up, and he laughs when he sees the bag. "No way, all the way in that thing? You can't curl up that tight!"
Roman wheeled around, the bag's straps in his hands.
"I can so! I'm a master of stealth, you just watch!"
He threw the bag on the ground, unzipped it, and stepped inside. It took a little adjusting since his tail was in the way and he didn't want to waste magic just to make it disappear but eventually, much like a cat, he had fit himself inside. A bony arm reached out and pulled the flap over so that it flopped shut.
A big, stupid grin spreads across Ed's face as he watches this tiny miracle unfold, and when Roman flops the top closed he quickly grabs the bag and zips it shut, then hauls his bagged demon up under one arm.
The bag laughed and shook as Roman crowed his victory.
But then the laughter stopped as he felt the cold tile beneath the canvas drop away. He let out a quiet "Oof!" once he was tucked under Ed's arm. The demon had to take a moment to process what had happened.
Ed cackles and shifts his hold on Roman to be a bit more secure. "Well, looks like I bagged myself quite the rarity, here! --agh, hey, c'mon, you're gonna make me drop you, idiot!"
It was evening and the parking lot of the truck stop was jumpin'. Or as jumpin' as a grimy truck stop could be. Gas was being pumped. Fright was being weighed. Eighteen-wheelers were bellowing great black clouds into the purple sky as they pulled in to rest their wheels for the night. A lot of things happened at truck stops. Love was won and lost. People got stabbed. And there were always, always pancakes to be had.
Roman lagged behind his new friend with a little less pep in his step than usual. It was even a chore to keep his human guise up. Charming the pendant that wore around the not-a-demon's neck had taken nearly all of his magical reserves. Panda rings had formed under his eyes and his stutter was out in spades.
"Nobody should be this excited t-t-to see a bunch of smelly t-t-truckers eating breakfast."
Even though he was pretending to be exasperated with Edward he was so glad that the guy could at least stop acting like such a cryptid.
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SOMETHING STRANGE
But it wasn't on the streets that Roman made his move. No, he'd gotten this Halloween thing down pretty good in his two years of demoning and he knew there was one place to go if you wanted to make deals with stupid people.
The Catchacun High School parking lot stood empty as Roman skulked along the back of the library. He'd seen the teenagers go in and he knew without a shadow of a doubt they were going to do some seance bullshit in there. Time to pretend to be a ghost!
Roman himself was not without festivities. He felt sort of cool having a double disguise--a generic magician complete with cape, top hat, and curly 'stache on top of his human skin. He twirled his mustache as he leaned an ear against the double doors. The demon could hear them murmuring deep inside.
"This is gonna be a piece of c-cake."
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Hurtling toward the ground at a ludicrous speed, Edward is doing everything he can think of to slow his decent. Spreading and flapping his wings isn't doing a whole lot, and it's hard to keep at an angle that the air resistance will do anything at all. He's tumbling and screaming and dear god the ground sure is getting closer very, very fast.
He comes crashing down smack into the pavement, actually bouncing once or twice before finally rolling to a halt several yards away from the small crater the first impact left. By some miracle he isn't dead, but he's pretty sure he broke something in that fall; everything hurts too much to figure out just what quite yet. Groaning, Ed feebly starts trying to move, lifting his face from the asphalt with a grimace.
"I am never taking a fucking deal from that asshole again." He's said that three times now, but fuck if he doesn't mean it this time! The hell with Ticky-Bang-Bang.
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"Wo-hoaaaah!" Ignoring the very obvious signs of distress, Roman trotted right up to the fallen Elric, hopping over the indention he made without noticing it yet. "I didn't know there was a party on the roof! Sick c-costume, man!"
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"Get back!"
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"Ookay, okay! Chill." His eyes darted back to the library before returning to Ed. A small war happened within him. He was obviously hurt. He could make a deal with him...or he could ask if he wanted to go to the emergency room. Decisions decisions...
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Which, to be fair what minotaur isn't ready to brawl at a moment's notice?
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But why wasn't this guy giving off the same powerful rifs that the other demon he'd met did? He quickly forced a smile behind his dumb fake mustache and tipped his hat slightly.
"Is this your t-t-territory? My bad! I'll just be...moving along!"
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"No, I just...fuck!" Ed winces and pulls his wings closer to his body. Goddamn, but this is going to be annoying as hell to let heal... "Just. Just tell me where I am."
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???
"Ssssssschool?"
Very helpful. Did those kids inside the building really summon this guy? If they did, his aim sure sucked!
"Are you from hell?"
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"...no. And this sure as hell doesn't look like any school I've seen before."
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"Well, it's been here for generations. If you're not from hell, where'd you come from? I know weird stuff is supposed t-to happen on Halloween but...help me out here."
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"What, do you want a list? I've been to four worlds now counting this one, I'm getting goddamn tired of keeping track!"
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you wait so long and this is what i have to give. ten lashes for me.
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LIGHTS OUT
He reappeared and leaned out with a triumphant grin.
"Attention shoppers, our after hours special has just begun--prices so low it's practically stealing! Don't miss out!"
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"With a pitch like that, how can I resist?"
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"Well come right on in, number one c-customer!"
He retreated inside and turned on a few of the lights as they worked their way to the actual store floor. The long wracks of clothes and shelves full of old dishes and probably broken electronics were spooky in the low light.
"It's about time I gave up on the flipflops anyway and found some boots."
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"I was wondering about that. You don't exactly have a nice pelt to keep yourself warm." Ed looks around curiously, frowning and poking at some of the appliances before turning his attention to the plethora of clothing. The low light doesn't bother him too much--he barely notices it, honestly. "Lessee, a coat, some pants and shirts...oh good, there's some bags, too."
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He'd been to this particular Well Meaning before so he knew where the shoes were but he couldn't help lagging a little and stealing glances of Ed looking at all the appliances. Roman had a hard time wrapping his head around what it would be like to live in the world he tumbled out of.
"...Oh hey I bet I could fit in this gym bag."
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Ed had been poking through a rack of denim pants when Roman spoke up, and he laughs when he sees the bag. "No way, all the way in that thing? You can't curl up that tight!"
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"I can so! I'm a master of stealth, you just watch!"
He threw the bag on the ground, unzipped it, and stepped inside. It took a little adjusting since his tail was in the way and he didn't want to waste magic just to make it disappear but eventually, much like a cat, he had fit himself inside. A bony arm reached out and pulled the flap over so that it flopped shut.
"Suck iiiiit."
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Oh God.
He really did it. Holy shit.
A big, stupid grin spreads across Ed's face as he watches this tiny miracle unfold, and when Roman flops the top closed he quickly grabs the bag and zips it shut, then hauls his bagged demon up under one arm.
"Gotcha!"
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But then the laughter stopped as he felt the cold tile beneath the canvas drop away. He let out a quiet "Oof!" once he was tucked under Ed's arm. The demon had to take a moment to process what had happened.
Haha. Oh wow. This guy was built.
But then.
"HEY!"
The bag started to squirm and bleat.
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He wasn't going to suffocate. The bag even had a small hole in it. Good luck to anyone who wanted to carry pencils in the thing.
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BUTTHEADS BUTTING HEADS
It was evening and the parking lot of the truck stop was jumpin'. Or as jumpin' as a grimy truck stop could be. Gas was being pumped. Fright was being weighed. Eighteen-wheelers were bellowing great black clouds into the purple sky as they pulled in to rest their wheels for the night. A lot of things happened at truck stops. Love was won and lost. People got stabbed. And there were always, always pancakes to be had.
Roman lagged behind his new friend with a little less pep in his step than usual. It was even a chore to keep his human guise up. Charming the pendant that wore around the not-a-demon's neck had taken nearly all of his magical reserves. Panda rings had formed under his eyes and his stutter was out in spades.
"Nobody should be this excited t-t-to see a bunch of smelly t-t-truckers eating breakfast."
Even though he was pretending to be exasperated with Edward he was so glad that the guy could at least stop acting like such a cryptid.